What He Came To Do

He looked wrung out when I greeted him, and when I asked him how he’d been doing, he shrugged and gave me his gap-toothed smile. “My brother died,” he whispered.

I expressed surprise and dismay and asked when his loss had occurred. He looked at his watch. “‘Bout five hours ago. He went at about four this morning.”

I stared at him. All I could manage was “I’m so sorry.” Inside, I was thinking, “And you came here? To an appointment? On the morning your brother died?”

He seemed to ken my thoughts because he offered that gentle, ruined smile again and said, “I’d been expecting it. Been at the hospital with him almost around the clock for over a week. I’m just glad he’s resting now.”

Hating the standard He’s at peace now or He’s in a better place emotional boilerplate, I chose to just reach over and pat his arm. He drooped just a bit, then rallied and the smile came back even brighter.

“Done my job,” he said. “I’ve buried both my mama and my daddy, and buried all my brothers ‘cept this one, and I’ll bury him in a couple of days, and that’ll be that. I figure my job is done.”

“What job is that?” I asked.

“To take care of my family. They took care of me when I was growing up, and then at some point, I started taking care of them. I’ve tooken care of all of ’em as best I could. Now it’s over. And I can go home now, too. I did what I came here to do.”

I wanted to ask him many things, but at that moment, in that sterile, uncaring environment, my questions would have seemed harsh and clattery things, like vintage instruments dropped on a tile floor. I patted his arm again and we got on with our business.

Later, when he was leaving, I said good-bye to him, and he looked back with that smile. “Well. Bye, now,” he said, and disappeared. An ending, I thought, looking at the door through which he’d walked.

He left me with the questions. Will some younger man ask me those questions someday, or will his tongue be stilled by the holiness of the moment? I will be listening for them for the rest of my days. I do not know if I will have answers. I do not know if my friend had any.

~ S.K. Orr

Photo by Dennis Greenwood