All Hallow’s Eve Eve

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher.

~ Edgar Allen Poe, The Fall of the House of Usher

Since childhood, I have enjoyed Mr. Poe’s stories and poems, and that opening line from Usher is so evocative of a certain type of day in the fall, and today, here in these mountains, we have just such a day. And I revel in it.

The autumn colors have peaked and the swirling winds have stripped most of the trees of the spectacular leaves we’ve enjoyed since the seasonal change. We may have some wind and a little rain today, so that will likely finish the job. There’s a waterfall about three miles from the house that is hidden by foliage most of the year, but it’s visible during the period between November and March. We always look forward to seeing it, especially after a rain when the waters are a torrent pouring down the smooth and scalloped rock shelf over which they flow. We glimpsed it yesterday, and could see the rock face, but no water was flowing. The summer was fairly wet, but we’ve had scarce rain since September.

We were sleeping nicely the other morning about 0415 when I came awake and almost retched. A happy little skunk nearby had filled the predawn air with his delightful scent. I got up and closed the window next to my side of the bed and tried to settle back in. We both lay there awake, wrapped in our separate daydreams, until we finally arose an hour later. The odor still hung in the air when the dogs went out, and I was sure to go out before them and make lots of noise in order to alert the skunk(s) to my presence and to give them time to take their striped hind-ends somewhere else and not skunk my dogs.

Speaking of the dogs, I saw Jinx and Bluebelle do something really amusing a couple of days ago. They were standing at the fence, watching the cows down in the holler. They were about six feet apart, just hanging out and gazing down at the black shapes cropping what’s left of the grass. All of a sudden, a bright cardinal swooped down and perched exactly between the two dogs. He chipped a couple of notes, then soared into the sky and made his way to the pine tree in the front. The dogs looked at each other with the most human expressions of bewilderment. “What the heck…?” I broke up laughing, and they ran to me, trying to shush me before I made further sport of them.

I’ve noticed that the expressions on females’ faces these days seem to be quite…mean. My wife and I have talked about this and she shares my opinion. It’s difficult to describe, a sort of malicious mask, where one can see a thinly-veiled vindictiveness shimmering beneath the skin of the face. Perhaps I don’t notice it on males because most of them seem to be robots. Or maybe that’s why zombie stuff is so popular in American culture today, because they see those things as kindred spirits…just shambling around mindlessly, reacting to external stimuli and enslaved to their appetites. But the females I see, especially those in the 25-40 age range, have a malevolent presence in their eyes that’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It’s also interesting to watch males interact with these females. So deferential, so effeminate, so nonthreatening. I’ve become aware of how younger men sit these days, too.  They wear those too-tight suits and they have their legs open but they cross their ankles. Again, very nancygirlish. I suppose they’ve been so conditioned against “manspreading” that they’re afraid their body language will offend someone. Well, it does offend someone. Okay, enough of my Andy Rooneying.

Since we live way out in the hollers, we have never received a single trick-or-treater, which is fine, since we save money on candy and we don’t have leftover candy around the house to tempt us. I can’t imagine allowing my children to trick or treat these days, with the sociopathic evil of American society lurking everywhere, just waiting for the unwary to grant a moment of trust.

But it is the Hallowe’en season, so I’ll share the scare with y’all. Two of the most terrifying things you’ll ever hear.

Boo.

~ S.K. Orr