Reflections
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The Watched
A few years ago, I watched a documentary about a young girl in Germany who was abducted by a deranged man and held captive in his basement for years. I can’t recall the circumstances, but she eventually escaped or was rescued. She described her hellish time in her suburban prison, recalling how she was able to see out of a barred basement window, catching daily glimpses of people going about their lives, walking their dogs, arguing with traffic policemen, lifting their faces to the warming sun or huddling in their heavy winter coats against the wind. The young woman recalled how desperate she was to be able to call out…
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Kingdom Of Remnants
I am looking through the glass doors, looking outside at the peach trees Mrs. Orr and I tucked into the earth several years ago, now standing bare-limbed in the cold air at the edge of the front meadow. The trees have never done very well in terms of producing edible fruit, but they are lovely when they blossom and their leaves provide a nice shade beneath which we sometimes sit in the Adirondack chairs in warm weather. Someday those trees will be dead and gone, and perhaps no one in future years will ever know that beautiful peach trees once stood in that spot, on that gentle rise in the…
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Winter Rampant
Ah, it’s a winter day and the breathing of the year is slowing down, agonal, soon to stop. The endless circling of the stars and the thin shafts of sunlight spear down into the earth and bring a certain gladness, it seems to me, to the birds who go about their business above me. The frost retreats from the heat of my thumb, pressed against the grainy glass of the windshield in passing, a reminder that I still have within me the heat of the life-force, the soul-ember that can melt the deep cold that exists between the planets, that exists between men of the same bloodline who should be…
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Of Infinite Space
This flu or virus or whatever it is continues its unwelcome visit within me. I went to bed earlier than usual last night, weary and feeling the congestion in my chest and head like a double ferris wheel, spinning and changing position, rumble and roar, chest and head, rumble and roar. I had been thinking all day of my mother, and the last thought I had before I slipped down into sleep was to wonder whether Mother’s spirit is ever near me, if she ever tries to contact me or watch over me. An odd thought, and I soon left it and all thoughts and entered that nightly place of…
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Bless The Beasts
Last night while my wife and I were relaxing, I watched the spotted twins romp. The ever-sleeping Dixee paid them no heed, continuing to slumber in her little bed by my wife’s chair, undisturbed in her deafness and warm in her sweater. It’s never a sure bet as to which dog will start the donnybrook. When Jinx does it, he usually sits above Bluebelle and growls at her, a rising wail that concludes with three or four sharp barks. While he’s barking at his sister, he’s looking around at us to see if we’re watching. Then he moves to Bluebelle and starts gnawing on a leg or snapping at her…
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Chill
I utterly despise the media, whether the news, popular culture, or what passes for “art” these days. A question came to me this evening and I turned to express it to my wife. “When’s the last time you heard anyone mention monkey pox?” She laughed, because she knew what I was getting at. Before that stumpy, swarthy little illegitimate comedian’s appearance before Congress today in his grimy gym suit, how many of you had heard anything about Ukraine (formerly known as the Ukraine) in the news in recent days? Do chefs still prepare chicken Kiev, or is it now chicken KEEEEEEEV? Covid is apparently cured completely, with flu and RSV…
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Behind A Pane of Glass
In 1992, the English poet Elizabeth Jennings was awarded the Commander of the British Empire (CBE) by Queen Elizabeth II for “highly distinguished and innovative contribution on a national level.” By this time, Jennings, a fragile and eccentric woman and a brilliant poet, was beginning to show stress marks. She was increasingly reclusive and erratic, and perhaps many of her friends thought she was fantasizing when she told them that she would receive the CBE from Her Majesty, the Queen. On the day of the ceremony at Buckingham Palace, Jennings’ sister Aileen helped her dress for the event. She wore a flowered skirt, knitted sweater, red wool beret, black oversize…
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Before Winter’s Solstice
Early this morning, I dreamed I was standing at my mother’s grave, down there in the flat delta where the cotton fields stretch like bolts of corduroy for monotonous miles. In my dream, I wanted to say some words to Mother, because I knew that she would be able to hear and understand me, but I could not bring myself to speak. There were leaves blown against her little tombstone with the hummingbird carved into its sleek surface, and they seemed to be telling me that it was all gone, my life and difficult relationship with that haunted little woman, that no matter what I might say to her, none…
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Fourth Sunday in Advent
I was thinking today about the year when we didn’t think we’d have a Christmas. We saw my daddy between two and four times a year. One of those visits was always between Thanksgiving and Christmas. He would show up and slam his truck door loud enough for us to hear it, and my sister and I would run outside to greet him. He would stand there, fists on hips, that devious, smiling, lean, dishonest devil of a father, laughing that completely delighted laugh of his, his weather-bronzed face split by an enigmatic smile, and scoop us up in his arms and swing us around as he loped to the…
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Roots Above The Stones
Every year at this season we watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and their Christmas concert. Last night we watched it; we had recorded it the night before, and I was grateful because I was able to fast forward through much of it. The vibe of the show was very different from what we usually experience. First of all, we noticed that the word “Mormon” has been expunged from the group’s title. They’re now The Tabernacle Choir. This seems logical, given what I have read in recent months about the LDS church bending over backwards to fit in with the rainbow regiment people. Also, the tone of the programs was…off. The…