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The Thoughts, They Are Provoked
While reading Thomas Merton this morning, a passage took hold of me: Every one of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self. This is the man that I want myself to be but who cannot exist, because God does not know anything about him. … My false and private self is the one who wants to exist outside the reach of God’s will and God’s love — outside of reality and outside of life. And such a life cannot help but be an illusion. … The secret of my identity is hidden in the love and mercy of God. … Therefore I cannot hope to find myself…
- Bluebelle, Books, Church Life, Daily Life, Dixee, Holy Days, I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation, Jinx, Movies, Mrs. Orr, Photographs, Reflections
Approaching The Realm of the Ides
Today, the sun is pouring out of the sky onto the greening grass and the resurrecting branches of the trees. The weeping willow out front looks as lush as it usually does in high summer, and the peach trees are decked with lovely pink blossoms. This being early March, I know that a killing frost or two will arrive and dull down the lively colors, but for now, it is an enjoyable sight. The breeze is somewhat stiff, which keeps a chill in the air if I’m not in direct sunlight, but this is nothing compared to what we had a few days ago. On Thursday, a strong windstorm system…
- Church Life, Daily Life, Holy Days, I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation, Photographs, Reflections
Ash Woden’s Day
And so Lent begins today. This is the first year since my awkward and stumbling embrace of Catholicism began that I will not be observing the day or the season. It is a fitting coincidence that today also marks the anniversary of my receiving my honorable discharge from the United States Marine Corps and became a civilian again. Leaving the Corps was an interesting experience, bringing with it a feeling of being unmoored and yet settled on a somewhat shrouded path. That’s a good description of how I feel today. I look outside and see the tiniest patches of green in the woods and little emerald dots along the length…
- Bluebelle, Daily Life, Dixee, I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation, Jinx, Lectio Divina, Mrs. Orr, Photographs, Reflections
The Delta
This past weekend was a time of animal intrusion. The dogs were all quite obnoxious. No matter how I tried to command them or cajole them, they were on the rampage. By Sunday afternoon, Mrs. Orr and I were looking at each other with weariness in our faces, and our whispered conversations contained words like giveaway, shelter, dogcather, euthanasia, pistols, and shovel/mattock. They calmed down at some point, but we were not perky dog owners by Sunday night. Sunday afternoon, I dressed for the rain and went for a walk. I made my way up into the woods and finally climbed over the fence separating my neighbor’s pasture from our…
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The Chamber of Loneliness
I was born into this world with certain things intact. The color of my skin, my eyes, my hair. The size and proportion of my skeletal frame. A certain personality and a particular temperament. Specific and focused interests. A drive towards thinking about and seeking to fully experience the spiritual, the transcendent. Like all sons of Adam, my life has been a scattered path of trying to make sense of the damage that occurs when my interests and desires have not dovetailed with my abilities and personality. For example, I was born with some musical talent and the ability to write competently, but neither of these artistic areas ever led…
- Church Life, Daily Life, Dreams, I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation, Lectio Divina, Prayers, Quotations, Reflections
Despair, Sleep, and Heavenly Mother
Bruce Charlton has posted a really good essay over at his blog, one of those posts that stopped me in my tracks. I commend it to you. I’ll include here the checklist Bruce wrote to assist in spiritual re-encouragement, and then a couple of thoughts. 1. Reality is ultimately created by God – and continually being-created by God; and I participate in this creation (as a sub-creator) insofar as the world is understandable to me. I look around and remind myself of this. 2. The world is Not dead, mechanical or random; the world is alive and conscious: this is a world of beings. Every ‘thing’ is actually a being, or part…
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Little Things Find Their Beds
I had the day off due to yesterday’s holiday falling on a Sunday, and I made good use of it. Jinx and I moved half of a load of wood I’ve been putting off, and then I built a new door for the goat shed– another procrastination project. Mowed the front meadow and decided to go ahead and cut the entire yard, since it would be needing it by week’s end. By the time the sun was slanting down across in the west, my feet were sore and I was out of steam. So I sat and read the rest of the day, procrastinating on my correspondence, too, watching it…
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Dogwood Winter
The sunny, balmy weather of the past week has yielded to a cold rain with the threat of some snow mixed in today, and freezing temperatures for the next two nights. This means I will be draping old bedsheets and towels across Mrs. Orr’s flowers in the front garden, and bringing in the basketed ones hanging on the front and back porches. Our dogwoods have finally come into their full strength, which makes this cold snap the Dogwood Winter. The blackberry canes surrounding our farm have started to bud a bit, and the next cold snap should be right about the time they bloom out. That will be Blackberry Winter,…
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Third Sunday in Easter
On certain days, when the sun lifts into the sky, the first rays travel across to the copse of trees across the road from our house, where they light on the center of the trees and ignite them in morning splendor. Yesterday, I happened to look outside just as this happened and was able to get a picture of it. The picture of course does not capture the deep beauty of the true moment, but it does communicate a certain surface element of the beauty. Sometimes when I scuff along the graveled lanes that twist around our farm, I feel blind to what is around me, so intent am I…
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He Is Risen Indeed
I slipped into sleep last night watching the fire-patterns in the stove, methodically releasing my hold on old hurts and old grudges that had been bedeviling me all evening. Reading earlier in the afternoon in Holy Week: The Complete Offices in Latin and English, I had latched onto a section from the Second Nocturne in Holy Saturday, a selection from Psalm 26: I believe to see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living. Expect the Lord, do manfully, and let thy heart take courage, and wait thou for the Lord. How often are men exhorted in this day and age to “do manfully?” The rarity…