• Daily Life,  Reflections

    Cries Go On

    Last year, a male goldfinch at one of the feeders caught my attention with his unusual behavior, and I realized that he was blinded in at least one eye. I’ve seen him a couple of times since then, and each sighting rings in the halls of my heart because it reminds me that, for some reason, he stays near our farm, and that he seems to recognize me. I fill the bird feeders in the evening. We have various types of feeders — the cheap cylindrical kind that are easy to fill but also easy for squirrels to raid, the metal mesh kind that are impervious to rodents but do…

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  • Church Life,  Daily Life,  Jinx,  Prayers,  Reflections

    Cool And Clear

    It occurs to me that I write daily temperatures on my calendar and/or in my notebooks. In the interest of avoiding redundancy, I think I’ll start noting temperatures in these blog entries (on the days I actually write blog entries). This morning it was 46F and very clear when Jinx and I set out on our walk. I took vacation this week, just to relax and enjoy the fall weather and do a few projects around the house (some painting, a final mowing of the lawn, some trash hauling, etc.), so the feeling of bliss and freedom and peace was exquisite when I donned my jacket and cap and took…

  • Daily Life,  Dreams,  I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation,  Jinx,  Prayers,  Reflections

    Waiting

      So many people I know have told me that the current dismal situation has affected them in unmistakable ways. One of the most common things I hear is that an air of depression-while-waiting-for-the-shoe-to-drop has settled down upon them. A sense of “Why bother?” A feeling of “I don’t want to undertake anything substantial right now because….who knows what’s coming?” A nihilistic bleakness, a sneering cynicism, a crisis-choked standstill period of time that seems like a Pink Floyd lyric come to life. It does feel that way, doesn’t it? And it’s easy, oh, so easy, to get caught up in that sort of feeling, and let it start calling the…

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  • Daily Life,  Jinx,  Reflections

    The Fogs Of August

    My mother and grandmother taught me to count the number of foggy mornings during the month of August. The number, they told me gravely, would correspond to the number of snows in the coming winter. I’ve tracked the August fogs more closely since we purchased our little farm here, and while never exact, the ratio of fogs to snows is fairly close. So far this month, we have had nine fogs out of twelve mornings. Last winter was quite mild, and the old-timers in these parts are already beginning to murmur about how “we’re due for a bad, bad winter.” We shall see. I recently re-watched one of my favorite…

  • Dreams,  I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation,  Reflections

    The Why & The What

    I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. Before awakening this morning, I was immersed in a vivid dream. In the dream, my wife and I were back at our Texas home. We were in the backyard and the light seemed to indicate that it was around dusk. While we were sitting and talking, something  –moving so fast it was a blur — came into our vision. It sped past us and crashed into the window near where we were sitting. My wife and I jumped up and ran into the house. The interior of the house seemed immense, and we made our way down the halls and…

  • Reflections

    Swarm Day

    It wasn’t quite Texas-hot, but it was a reasonable facsimile thereof. 91F, and it’s supposed to be the same for the rest of the week. No rain in sight. It looks like September, but it feels July-ish. When I arrived home and stepped out into the front yard, I was immediately under attack. At least once a year, we get what I call Dragonfly Day, a hot afternoon in which clouds of dragonflies make their appearance. And I don’t mean “a lot” of dragonflies. I mean “Could someone please call Ramses II and let him know that another one of those plagues is going down?”-sized swarms of the things. They…

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  • I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation,  Reflections

    Sixes And Sevens

    If ever a day were designed to make a man want to be back in his cozy home with his wife and animals, today was that day. A Monday, a rainy Monday, a rainy Monday after insufficient sleep the night before, a rainy Monday after insufficient sleep the night before when one’s coworkers are bitter, gossipy, pessimistic, vulgar, and determined to draw one into their simmering cauldron. This was my Monday. The ability to focus so intently on one’s duties that one blocks out all distractions and temptations must indeed be a high spiritual gift. I aspire to lead a life so virtuous that one day before I retire (if…

  • I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation,  Memoirs,  Reflections

    Faith In Exile, Part III – Conclusion

    The Lenten season is upon us, and I am adrift. From what I understand, the majority of people who join the Catholic church are received into her arms during the Easter Vigil. Because of complications in my past life including divorce, along with complete uncertainty about which version of Catholicism I should be following, I have resigned myself to probably never being a real, official Catholic. Yet hope remains. I realized some time ago — gradually, like the sunrise, not an immediate clap of thunder — that I had come to believe the Catholic church is the one, true faith…that the Church truly is the pillar and bulwark of the…

  • I Never Thought I'd Be In This Situation,  Memoirs,  Reflections

    Faith In Exile, Part II

    To continue… I began searching out and reading Catholic blogs and websites, and was soon dismayed at what I read. Well, let me clarify that. I was dismayed at what the articles pointed me towards. All the time I had been circling Catholicism, thinking in terms of doctrine and authority and salvation, I had managed to somehow ignore the fact that I was contemplating the Catholic church during a time of great upheaval. I found myself confronted with scism and sexual scandal and allegations of cover-ups and Vatican II this and sedevacantist that and vacant seats and impious popes and illicit popes and illegitimate popes and angry laypeople and apathetic…

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