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Pages
It may be a cliche, but even cliches can be true. Each of my days is like a new page in the book I’m simultaneously reading and writing. I get to the bottom of one, my stub dull and whittled down, almost too short for my fingers to grip it, and then I blink my eyes, and in the quick space of that blink, a Hand has reached down and covered that page with a fresh one, and in the groove between the previous page and the new one sits a new, sharpened pencil. With the aroma of good coffee hanging in the air of the house where I think…
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And Slows His Horse To A Meaning Walk
Animals all around me these days, drawing my eye, and I don’t know if they’re just more there these days, or if my perceptions are heightened, or if some hand is tapping and pointing and gesturing at me. If I can’t say, who can? I sat today at lunch, slow-chewing my meal of leftovers — hoarded and beloved and anticipated — and watching the parking lot around me, and the cold clouds covered all, and a bush next to me moved as if breathing, and a mockingbird arose from its leaves and sat and sang for a while, and she watched me — yes, I just know she was a…
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Advent And Loss
Our old cat died today. Purrl was 14 years old, a Texas cat as rangy and prickly as a mesquite tree, as spastic as a rabid coyote, as affectionate as a lovestruck Lulabelle. She had been going downhill since Bonnie died. So skinny…when she sprawled out in front of the wood stove, she looked like a tractor wheel had smushed her down flat. She was nervous, restless, unhappy. And today, she left this world and went into the next. Purrl was an extraordinarily sweet cat. She used to pat my wife’s face with the pink pads of her paw, pulling my wife’s face to look directly into her eyes —…
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Passages
There’s snow on the ground today. I wish you were here to see it, girl. When I walked up to your grave after I got home from work, I thought of how much you loved the white stuff, how you’d throw yourself into banks of it and run around like your tail was on fire, how you once tricked your Mama by hiding a vole in the snow and then redirecting her attention, and how you’d scoop a small pile of it onto your nose and run to me, knowing that I’d laugh like a fool. I used to accuse you of being a Viking dog, do you…
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Jacketed By Grief
My wife and I returned the other day from a lovely, happy trip back home to visit family in Texas. I had planned to post a summary of our vacation once we’d settled back in. My plans came to a sudden and shattering stop this morning when I arose from sleep to let the dogs outside and make coffee. My dog was right where she’d been when I went to bed last night, almost in the exact same position. But the old girl had died in her sleep. She had gone away forever, exiting my life in the space of a mere six hours, taking her warmth and her presence…
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Beauty In Beasts
A local news affiliate ran a story today about a local farm. The farm has several miniature horses and donkeys, which the owners regularly load into a trailer and take to area nursing homes. The clip I saw (which I searched for in vain, so no link is available right now, alas) was wondrous. The expressions on the faces of the aged ones as they stroked and talked to the little equines were beyond beautiful. One wisp of a lady said to a donkey, “You’re so beautiful. You’re a beautiful girl. I believe you’re the most beautiful of them all.” And the large brown eyes gazed back at her with…
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She Grieves
We visited a town in a nearby state this weekend and spent most of a day browsing through an enormous arts & crafts festival. We were walking in an alley when we saw a handsome German Shepherd tethered to a long leash in a yard. We stopped and spoke to the dog, at which point her owner saw us from her back door and came out to say hello. The lady was about my age and had a strong speech impediment. She also had a sweet and guileless personality. She explained that the dog’s name is Mollie, and that she was until recently a K-9 officer in the local police…
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Seemed To Mock
The other morning, I kept watching the moon as I drove down the mountain to work. Waning in its phase, it hung in the air with just the bottom crescent illuminated. The image was like a photo negative of a smiley-face logo but with the eyes closed. The lunar face seemed to mock me as I stole glances at it. Looking back now from the vantage point of week’s end, the impression of mockery doesn’t seem so fantastical. That same night, my wife and I were relaxing after an arduous day when she wrinkled her nose and turned to me. “Do you smell that?” she asked. I took a breath.…
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Important Things Come
The important things often come to us disguised. Don’t you think this is true? *** The other day, I talked with an elderly man who, unsolicited, told me, “I got the least education of any of my brothers. Went to work when I was ‘leven year old. Worked as a carpenter, buildin’ houses. I built the house I live in. Built houses for two of my brothers. Built one house before I retired that cost a half…uh…milyun….dollars. That was my last one. My brothers all had to ask me for help at least once. And I helped ’em. That’s what you do for fambly. I didn’t mind to help ’em…
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Little Griefs
The second foggy morning in August so far, and I am tracking them. Mountain lore holds that the number of fogs in August forecasts the number of snows in the coming winter. Last year it was off a bit, but it’s still great fun to monitor. Through the fog’s gloom as I drove, I saw a tiny fawn in the road, lying exactly along the yellow stripe in the center. Such a delicate and beautiful little creature, fragile and soft and spotted. It looked to be sleeping as I slowed and passed it. And I had the same thought I always have when I see such sights. I thought of…